August 19, 2019 – A New Chapter

This morning I woke up tired, but fine at the same time. I wasn’t expecting it to be a bad day, but I was anxious for the news I would receive from my real estate agent at 10am.

I surprisingly ate breakfast at home, tidy up the house just in case any random showing occurred, and even made a small lunch for myself (note I really had no choice because I have less than $4 to spend in my account, which technically isn’t mine to spend because is my backup to my $0 checking account).

I got to work and immediately got into this “I’m not in the mood” mood, but then 11am came and I got a text from my real estate agent and then I checked my email. Oh boy, I had three good offers on my home, which was on the market for less than four days.

Anyways, I accepted an offered and was honestly super excited, but reality hit. Once the appraisal is done and matches the offer, its all set and stone…mid-September, I won’t have a home anymore.

However, the scary thought of not having an apartment already chosen wasn’t enough to ruin my excitement. I honestly didn’t think my home would interest many buyers, yet get offers from every single person who viewed the home.

I eventually went back to focusing on work and finished the day (although an hour past my scheduled shift), but sadly it has become the norm.

When I got in my car and began to drive home, I realized I wasn’t in the mood for a specific type of music or in a specific mood period. I just wanted to listen to music and actually enjoy it, instead of trying to find a deeper meaning within the lyrics.

As I drove home, I realized I wanted to run. When the thought hit me, I was surprised too. I haven’t been in the mood to actually run for myself in such a long time, I was excited again. Weird. I haven’t felt excitement in such a long time, it felt weird.

I backed into my driveway, went inside the house and let the dogs out, cleaned up after them and changed into workout clothes. My dogs already knew what that meant, sadly only my German Shepherd runs with me –I have a dachshund, who can sprint, but that’s a one way trip.

It was weird being dressed in workout clothes and actually go workout. Could this mean I’m healing? I don’t know, but honestly I don’t want it to stop. For once in a long time, I felt so close to my old self. It was amazing to go out and run with the humidity and all and feel like I haven’t stopped running.

I don’t know if this is just a small or temporary high, but if this means, I’m on my way back to getting on track to recovery, I’ll take it. As small as it may seem, I will take this small victory, because I couldn’t tell you the last time I felt like something was going my way in this recovery.

August 19, 2019.

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