It is the holiday season and most are making plans and arrangements to meet up and celebrate the holidays with family. For others this can be the messiest time of the year because for those that are or have been isolated by someone they love or loved, this is usually the time that a lot of pain has been brought to you or in this case us.
I remember when we were boyfriend and girlfriend living together. We argued enough and when we did 99% of the time he was intoxicated. He would have me cornered and hold me tight by his hands but he never really hit me you know.
Back then I used to walk out and go for a nice long drive back. He never went after me or called. Typically, I would return and he was where I left him…drinking and playing video games.
The not so funny thing is that I remember when we would get into those heated arguments and I can see his hand balled up into fists. Sometimes, he would raise his hand or fist but always held back. I specifically remember him telling me twice in separate occasions that I was so lucky, because if I were someone else he would have hit me already.
Makes me wonder what happened from then to the past year and a half before we officially separated in terms of him actually leaving the house. Makes me wonder if this is who he was all this time with his ex baby mother and if that’s why she ran away like he says she did. I, of course will never know and quite frankly I don’t want to find out.
Bottom line is if you are struggling with the upcoming holidays please reach out to someone you know, trust, care about, but if there is no one in your group you can confide in and they don’t already know your story. Please do speak out to a physician, suicide hotline (if that is where you are), veteran crisis line or even me. I don’t care who you are or what you do for a living. I will gladly hear (read) you out and provide guidance if needed or simply listen.
Holiday season is when you see an increase in suicides, runaways, homeless shelter fill up faster and shelter homes for battered victims populate more.
You are not alone, no matter how much it may feel like you are or that no one else is going through a similar situation or understand you. Sometimes we trust in the wrong people and waste our time in confiding in those aren’t really listening or following up.