When It Finally Hits How Alone You Are

I lay in bed and after a few minutes, my brain begins to do what it always does… relives everything I’ve been through in a matter of seconds.

The people that have came in and out of my life. The people I thought were my friends. The people I thought I loved and loved me. The people that betrayed me. The ones that lied. The ones that hurt me. The ones I thought so highly of, yet they turned their backs on me.

At the end of it all, I realized just how alone I really am.

I’m about to be just a little bit loner and for the second time or third time if you include my separation, I’m about to let go and walk away from someone I really thought I loved.

Case the Shepherd. This is definitely our last week together and the worst part is that I look at him and feel absolutely nothing.

Believe it or not, it breaks my heart because I don’t know what that says about me.

I fought so hard for him to stay with me. Yet, here I am fighting to find him a new home as soon as possible. I just hope he and whoever becomes his new family know that it’s for the best. He deserves better.

That is more than what anyone can say about me when they walked away, turned their backs on me or simply betrayed me.

It’s hard to remember the good times when you only experience bad times on a daily basis.

I only hope that others can suffer less than me but I know that’s unrealistic, but I wouldn’t wish a lonely life on anyone. Not even to all of those who hurt me and branded me for the rest of my life.

I forgive but I’ll never forget.

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