EXHALE pt. 1

Today, was my first day of a six week course by Sierra DeMulder. If you follow the blog on Instagram you may have seen the post or story about how excited I was specially when I realized she had given me a full scholarship.

I am extremely grateful, because in a way I did it for me, but I truly did it for you and all of the lives I hope to reach and touch one day.

This blog isn’t for me. In a sense it’s a journal of my life, experiences, feelings and emotions. It also holds, how I deal and have dealt with my experiences, specially the traumatic ones. But I honestly created this blog to reach out to others who have been in my position or are currently dealing with something similar.

My goal is to eventually get in touch with the local police departments or even the Juvenile and Domestic Relations Courthouses and see if I can get involved with their domestic programs already in place or help improve them. I really feel like my experience as both the law enforcement that intervened when someone called 911 because of an abuse and then as the victim of my own domestic violence and more, I can reach and penetrate a little bit different than those who are helping but from an outside perspective.

I originally intended for this post to be about the journaling prompts I had to do for this week because one of the questions was something I answered almost on the daily and well today I responded a little different than usual and it was honestly refreshing.

So here it goes!

What labels, negative and positive, do you assign yourself?

My response: Broken, misguided, tortured, mislead, traumatized, used patient, protective, private, runner, workaholic, trustworthy, fighter, kind, giving, unique, different, passionate, loving, caring and helpful.

For some reason, it is always easy for me to spit out the negative things I think about myself, then slowly the positive things come out, but typically its barely a handful. I was lucky if I ever said more than 3-5 things about me that were positive before and after I did individual counseling and group.

So I was definitely taken aback when I realized how many positive things I wrote about myself. It lifted my spirit, because whenever I’m doodling and scribbling around, the only things that always flow into paper are dark and negatives things.

Anyways, that was all I wanted to share for today.

I do ask, that you think about that question as well and you don’t have to share it with me.

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