Hopelessness is the worst feeling in the world, honestly.
I’ve felt hopeless once before and that was after separating from my ex-husband and drowning in debt, stress, paranoia, hurt, mental and physical exhaustion.
When I no longer felt a reason to live.
When I felt alone in this huge ass world.
When I felt ashamed and betrayed.
When I felt empty and broken.
Today, I feel half hopeless and half hopeful, because my heart is in the hands of my boyfriend, whom I love very very much and yet failed to really show and give him my all.
I feel like I’m slowly getting him back just like I feel like I’m slowly loosing him.
Worst part is that although this is new to me, I’ve learned that it’s not for him and that hurts just as much.
I wish he would have given me the opportunity to fix, show and prove to him that I care deeply about him through my depression and all of my fears. But then again, I should’ve always shown it in the first place.
I feel so hopeless.