Hopelessness

Hopelessness is the worst feeling in the world, honestly.

I’ve felt hopeless once before and that was after separating from my ex-husband and drowning in debt, stress, paranoia, hurt, mental and physical exhaustion.

When I no longer felt a reason to live.

When I felt alone in this huge ass world.

When I felt ashamed and betrayed.

When I felt empty and broken.

Today, I feel half hopeless and half hopeful, because my heart is in the hands of my boyfriend, whom I love very very much and yet failed to really show and give him my all.

I feel like I’m slowly getting him back just like I feel like I’m slowly loosing him.

Worst part is that although this is new to me, I’ve learned that it’s not for him and that hurts just as much.

I wish he would have given me the opportunity to fix, show and prove to him that I care deeply about him through my depression and all of my fears. But then again, I should’ve always shown it in the first place.

I feel so hopeless.

2 thoughts on “Hopelessness

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