Why Exes Can’t Be Friends

I’ve always been a believer that once something is done is done and should remain in the past.

With that being said, since my very first relationship and breakup, I’ve felt the same way. Event though, I broke up with him, is not because I hated him or he did me wrong so when he continued to reach out to me, I tried to be friendly until I found out he had a new girlfriend, but was still talking to me like he didn’t have a girlfriend. Even though I was 16 years old then, I believed then and to this day still feel very strongly that as a woman if you don’t want to be betrayed by your man or woman then you shouldn’t behave in such manner. With that being said, I immediately called him out on it, not because I was jealous but because if I was in her shoes, I wouldn’t want my boyfriend texting his ex-girlfriend like he doesn’t have someone to speak to about whatever it is that is going on in his life.

Call me crazy, but I have morals and that just isn’t right. Sorry not sorry!

With that being said, that was the last time I spoke to him and since then I’ve always just cut exes off. Its simple. No confusion or misunderstandings.

My last relationship involved someone who is genuinely ignorant on how life truly works. Lets just say they live in this other realm or alter reality, where morals, lies and deceit all live in this gray area or really just coincide with each other and there aren’t any boundaries. Yeah, that sounds better.

With that being said, everyone that saw photos of us kept asking, are you guys going to be friends or do you want to get back together with him. While, I was still stuck living there it was truly hard to see clearly because my emotions were blurred by the living situation and complete confusion of mixed feelings and emotions displayed by that person. But once I finally moved out, the fog became more clear.

I was able to see how bad it was and how much I gave to someone that never really put in effort. But that was the most liberating part of it all. Because I did give it my all, I could sleep at night… After wasting hours thinking about it all before my brain finally shut down. It sucks and the most annoying part is that I still process everything everyday. All the memories. Good and bad in a continuous loop.

But I was moving on, until we met up two weekends ago for no reason honestly. Either way, it was a huge setback and it really upset me emotionally. At the end of it all it only just recertified my thoughts since I was young that exes can’t be friends. It is just physically impossible right after breaking up, especially when it wasn’t mutual, but completely one-sided.

All relationships start when a seed gets planted. That seed grows and nourishes when two people get to know each other more and more and eventually that seed grows into a beautiful plant when two people become one. A family. A couple. A love story. Best friends.

So once that relationship deteriorates it causes this beautiful plant to become malnourished and wither. Eventually it dies.

A seed doesn’t grow from a withered plant but a new one has to be planted.

A new seed planted by you and you alone. Nourished, treated, and cared for by you and you alone.

Because at the end of the day, we came out of the wound, doctor checked for sign of life and moved on. Just like all the nurses that were in the room. They moved on with the next delivery or next task of their day. We eventually get sent home to our caregiver, whether or not they really care for you.

You grow and grow and begin to find your way through this crazy world and find yourself or at least try to become the person you want to be.

You are not defined by the men and women who come in and out of your life, but how you move forward from the heartbreak, loss and betrayal by those you trusted the most. The most important thing is to remember who you are and how you got to where you are today, in this moment, wherever you are reading this.

So if you ask me if I think exes can be friends, my answer is no. I don’t see why it should even be a thought, because you broke up for a reason whether it was your decision or theirs. Fact of the matter, it didn’t work out and whoever was dumped will have some feelings or feel some sort of way about the other person moving on. So move on and live your life to the best of your abilities, because no one should have the right to destroy, ruin or put a damper in your life. Not even you.

So keep on surviving in this crazy world we live in. My heart goes out to you.

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