Hopelessness is the worst feeling in the world, honestly. I’ve felt hopeless once before and that was after separating from my ex-husband and drowning in debt, stress, paranoia, hurt, mental and physical exhaustion. When I no longer felt a reason to live. When I felt alone in this huge ass world. When I felt ashamed … Continue reading Hopelessness
Category: My Journal
You Never Know What You Have
For a couple of months now, I've been having an internal war with between my brain and my heart. After my ex-husband, I told myself I would never allow myself to feel the same way because of someone else. So every time Danny and I would get into an argument over something that was brought … Continue reading You Never Know What You Have
Remember Remember the Month of January
Its been two years now and it seems like nothing is different whenever January comes around. This year was slightly different because I've been dealing with a terrible back pain that really started in November and hasn't let up, as well as being in my first relationship since I separated from my ex-husband. That was … Continue reading Remember Remember the Month of January
In the Dirt
What a beautiful feeling it is to think you’ve made it and are leveled with your partner, until you are shown you’re not. What a heart breaking feeling it is to have that glass house shattered by few words said by your partner. Oh what a feeling. I have anger problems from time to time. … Continue reading In the Dirt
Coming Out
I haven't really thought about this for a very long time because quite honestly it just never comes up. Last night, while in my boyfriend's family group chat, his niece came out as being bisexual and some were laughing because we weren't sure if it was a joke or she was being serious. I didn't … Continue reading Coming Out
Tis the Season
Many of us who have dealt with and experienced any type of trauma can agree that most of those negative thoughts, emotions, and reminders occur during the holiday seasons. When most of us tend to spend that time with family or close friends, it can be very triggering and sometimes even traumatizing. Some may ask, … Continue reading Tis the Season
Remember Remember the 22nd of November
So of course today is November 21, but my lovely brain decided to freak out a whole week and now a day before the dreadful day. Tomorrow marks the day of the first and most impactful and traumatizing day that my ex-husband put his hands on me. It all started when we were supposed to … Continue reading Remember Remember the 22nd of November
Simple Complicated
I don’t ask for much. I’m simple, complicated. Let me explain. I’m simple to the point that all I ever really want from anything or anyone is time and attention. If we’re hanging out I expect for you to be present, in the moment, paying attention, making memories to remember them, share and revisit at … Continue reading Simple Complicated
Numb
I am faced with the same situation, emotionally. There are so many thoughts running through my head, yet I feel nothing. Yesterday did it for me. I hit the “enough is enough”. I’m over it. I have tried so hard to be open-minded, non judgemental, and understanding, but it seems like that’s no enough. I … Continue reading Numb
I thought…
I thought this time would be different. I thought maybe he would be the one to prove my fears wrong. I thought I could finally enjoy life instead of simply living in it. I thought this time it would be different... but all good things must come to an end, right? My biggest fear after … Continue reading I thought…
