Hopelessness is the worst feeling in the world, honestly. I’ve felt hopeless once before and that was after separating from my ex-husband and drowning in debt, stress, paranoia, hurt, mental and physical exhaustion. When I no longer felt a reason to live. When I felt alone in this huge ass world. When I felt ashamed … Continue reading Hopelessness
So of course today is November 21, but my lovely brain decided to freak out a whole week and now a day before the dreadful day. Tomorrow marks the day of the first and most impactful and traumatizing day that my ex-husband put his hands on me. It all started when we were supposed to … Continue reading Remember Remember the 22nd of November
I am faced with the same situation, emotionally. There are so many thoughts running through my head, yet I feel nothing. Yesterday did it for me. I hit the “enough is enough”. I’m over it. I have tried so hard to be open-minded, non judgemental, and understanding, but it seems like that’s no enough. I … Continue reading Numb
We all live in a world were memories are made each and every second we are alive. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are forgotten. Some will live with you for the rest of your life. Some will affect you everyday. Some will affect you sometimes. Some can easily destroy you from within whether … Continue reading Past or History?
I purposely question and make a point to let others know that it’s okay if they don’t mean or feel a type of way, because it helps me defer the smallest thought or glimpse of hope that someone may actually care about me in any shape or form. It’s called deflecting and it’s my way … Continue reading Am I Selfish?
Some of y’all may know who Jessie Reyes is and some may not. In short, she is of Columbia descent but raised in Canada by her parents who relocated there before she was born. I bring this up because “When Love Came to Kill Us All” is the title of her album, which she released … Continue reading When Love Came to Kill Us All
What if after all the hurt, pain and disillusions, your heart itself isn’t capable of love anymore? Your mind dreams it, thinks of it and desires it, yet the opportunity presents itself and you lack actual attachment. You lack the actual want to succeed with it. Yet, jealousy and bad vibes surround everything that could … Continue reading When You Don’t Believe in Love Anymore
Hey, it’s me. The older you. I want you to know that all that strength, independent mindset you have will take you a long way. You will not have a fairytale story. You will deal with a lot of disillusions, heartbreak, and betrayal by many, especially those you will hold highly and mighty. Take comfort … Continue reading A Letter to my Younger Self
I lay here with Dash in my arms. Remembering the countless sleepless nights I laid on the couch to sleep because my own bed was no longer comfortable. My own bed was no longer a place I could lay and fall asleep. I was succumbed by terror, fear, anguish, paranoia, hurt, panic and disbelief of … Continue reading Almost two years…
Today, was my first day of a six week course by Sierra DeMulder. If you follow the blog on Instagram you may have seen the post or story about how excited I was specially when I realized she had given me a full scholarship. I am extremely grateful, because in a way I did it … Continue reading EXHALE pt. 1