Hopelessness is the worst feeling in the world, honestly. I’ve felt hopeless once before and that was after separating from my ex-husband and drowning in debt, stress, paranoia, hurt, mental and physical exhaustion. When I no longer felt a reason to live. When I felt alone in this huge ass world. When I felt ashamed … Continue reading Hopelessness
Tag: loss
In the Dirt
What a beautiful feeling it is to think you’ve made it and are leveled with your partner, until you are shown you’re not. What a heart breaking feeling it is to have that glass house shattered by few words said by your partner. Oh what a feeling. I have anger problems from time to time. … Continue reading In the Dirt
Remember Remember the 22nd of November
So of course today is November 21, but my lovely brain decided to freak out a whole week and now a day before the dreadful day. Tomorrow marks the day of the first and most impactful and traumatizing day that my ex-husband put his hands on me. It all started when we were supposed to … Continue reading Remember Remember the 22nd of November
Past or History?
We all live in a world were memories are made each and every second we are alive. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are forgotten. Some will live with you for the rest of your life. Some will affect you everyday. Some will affect you sometimes. Some can easily destroy you from within whether … Continue reading Past or History?
Am I Selfish?
I purposely question and make a point to let others know that it’s okay if they don’t mean or feel a type of way, because it helps me defer the smallest thought or glimpse of hope that someone may actually care about me in any shape or form. It’s called deflecting and it’s my way … Continue reading Am I Selfish?
When Love Came to Kill Us All
Some of y’all may know who Jessie Reyes is and some may not. In short, she is of Columbia descent but raised in Canada by her parents who relocated there before she was born. I bring this up because “When Love Came to Kill Us All” is the title of her album, which she released … Continue reading When Love Came to Kill Us All
If I Die Today…
Everyday last week, I would lay down in bed at the end of the day and start thinking, “If I die today...” but I could never finish the sentence. It really just made me feel like I most be the most lonesome person to literately have nothing to apologize, thank, say, feel or think. Since … Continue reading If I Die Today…
A year ago…
A year ago around this time many life changing events happened. My last official day as a Law Enforcement Officer, but more appropriately as a Deputy Sheriff with the authority of the Sheriff’s Office was April 14, 2019, which happened to be a Sunday, which also happened to be my birthday. But before April 14, … Continue reading A year ago…
Second Chance?
I know its been awhile, but it has been a rollercoaster of a week. A few days ago, someone I had considered a really special friend, whom I actually said goodbye to in this blog in January, reached out to me. I couldn't respond with happiness to be quite honest, because I had moved on. … Continue reading Second Chance?
Realization
I saw a post done by a local artist from Massachusetts on Instagram. It read something like, sometimes I feel small, very small and unimportant. I immediately liked it and shared it on the story, which can be found if you scroll all the way down. But what really stuck with me is the simple … Continue reading Realization
