Hopelessness is the worst feeling in the world, honestly. I’ve felt hopeless once before and that was after separating from my ex-husband and drowning in debt, stress, paranoia, hurt, mental and physical exhaustion. When I no longer felt a reason to live. When I felt alone in this huge ass world. When I felt ashamed … Continue reading Hopelessness
Tag: strength
Remember Remember the 22nd of November
So of course today is November 21, but my lovely brain decided to freak out a whole week and now a day before the dreadful day. Tomorrow marks the day of the first and most impactful and traumatizing day that my ex-husband put his hands on me. It all started when we were supposed to … Continue reading Remember Remember the 22nd of November
Past or History?
We all live in a world were memories are made each and every second we are alive. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are forgotten. Some will live with you for the rest of your life. Some will affect you everyday. Some will affect you sometimes. Some can easily destroy you from within whether … Continue reading Past or History?
When Love Came to Kill Us All
Some of y’all may know who Jessie Reyes is and some may not. In short, she is of Columbia descent but raised in Canada by her parents who relocated there before she was born. I bring this up because “When Love Came to Kill Us All” is the title of her album, which she released … Continue reading When Love Came to Kill Us All
To My Future Daughter
I never told you about fairytales, because they don’t exist. I never told you about Santa Claus or Los Tres Reyes Mago, because they don’t exist. But what does exist is my love and devotion for you What does exist is heroism and cowardness What does exist is a world full of chaos Love and … Continue reading To My Future Daughter
A Letter to my Younger Self
Hey, it’s me. The older you. I want you to know that all that strength, independent mindset you have will take you a long way. You will not have a fairytale story. You will deal with a lot of disillusions, heartbreak, and betrayal by many, especially those you will hold highly and mighty. Take comfort … Continue reading A Letter to my Younger Self
A year ago…
A year ago around this time many life changing events happened. My last official day as a Law Enforcement Officer, but more appropriately as a Deputy Sheriff with the authority of the Sheriff’s Office was April 14, 2019, which happened to be a Sunday, which also happened to be my birthday. But before April 14, … Continue reading A year ago…
Triggers 2.0
It’s a new year. Officially been separated for over a year. I was beginning to feel and think that my life isn’t great but it appeared that things were beginning to become stable and simply have a new normal since stopping counseling. Yet, here I am. Multiple sleepless nights. Brain continuously thinking and simulating past, … Continue reading Triggers 2.0
Hamster Wheel
You ever feel like you’re just running in circles? Ever feel like you’re stuck in a cycle with no way out? Ever feel like no matter what turn you take it always leads to a dead end? I’ve been doing good, you know. It’s been exactly a week without thoughts of harming myself. It’s been … Continue reading Hamster Wheel
16 going on 24
"Life is a Journey not a Dream, Thou Shalt be True to Thy Self and Thou Shalt be Free..."-Leslie H I wrote this quote junior year of high school, while sitting in physiology. I had already made my mind up about getting my first tattoo, but I told myself I wasn't going to spend my … Continue reading 16 going on 24